Daylight saving time was introduced by caring administrations concerned that the people with real jobs had to travel to work in the dark and also to return home in the dark. Politicians were not really affected by this as they never rise before 11:00 A.M. and, in any event, are driven around by somebody else. Of course this time change only worked in the middle latitudes. During the deep winter, places like Scotland and Canada only get about five or six hours of daylight, so messing about with time just confuses these third world countries that already have more than enough problems just coping with modern life.
In the tropics, it’s light from about six in the morning to around six in the evening. No one gets up before eight and by the time it gets dark they are too inebriated to notice whether it’s dark or light. Besides, it’s far too hot to look for the directions on how to change the time on your digital calypso sundial.
It follows therefore, ipso facto (as we educated people are prone to observe), that only people in national capitals like London, Washington and Tokyo even notice any difference. All people who work in these cities are professional “brown-nosers” who arrive for work an hour early and leave an hour late – so they probably don’t notice either – unless they’re driving politicians.
Some people in Mentone, Texas (possibly both of them) have been known to wonder why their clocks go wrong by an hour in spring and then spontaneously recover in the fall.
“Boy!” shouted the teacher, “you are two hours late - explain yourself.”
“Well,” said the boy, “it’s like this sir, I knew we had to change the clocks yesterday, but we couldn’t remember if they went forward or back. So my dad and I worked on an algebraic equation to help us, and this is what we decided.” With chalk in hand, the boy approaches the blackboard, faces the class and with an endearing smile speaks thus, while writing furiously:
“If x = the clock in the den and y = the daylight hours between when I woke up and when I got up, then “ab” must equal the difference between Central Standard time and Mountain time multiplied by granules in the cat litter. So if “ab” smells bad (which it does) then we couldn’t count them all. An estimated 347 to the power of the cat equals the square root of the crop from the back 40. We didn’t get any crops from the back 40 because of root-rot, so that made zero. If y = 2 and there is just one clock in the den, this is what we get:”
“y – x (ab * ba) + √ 2(gross cat-litter) – (- rotten turnip) = +1”
“So,” said the boy, “we put the clock forward by one hour.”
“The clocks were supposed to go forward an hour,” said the now fuming teacher, “so why are you two hours late?”
“Oh, I overslept!”
In the tropics, it’s light from about six in the morning to around six in the evening. No one gets up before eight and by the time it gets dark they are too inebriated to notice whether it’s dark or light. Besides, it’s far too hot to look for the directions on how to change the time on your digital calypso sundial.
It follows therefore, ipso facto (as we educated people are prone to observe), that only people in national capitals like London, Washington and Tokyo even notice any difference. All people who work in these cities are professional “brown-nosers” who arrive for work an hour early and leave an hour late – so they probably don’t notice either – unless they’re driving politicians.
Some people in Mentone, Texas (possibly both of them) have been known to wonder why their clocks go wrong by an hour in spring and then spontaneously recover in the fall.
“Boy!” shouted the teacher, “you are two hours late - explain yourself.”
“Well,” said the boy, “it’s like this sir, I knew we had to change the clocks yesterday, but we couldn’t remember if they went forward or back. So my dad and I worked on an algebraic equation to help us, and this is what we decided.” With chalk in hand, the boy approaches the blackboard, faces the class and with an endearing smile speaks thus, while writing furiously:
“If x = the clock in the den and y = the daylight hours between when I woke up and when I got up, then “ab” must equal the difference between Central Standard time and Mountain time multiplied by granules in the cat litter. So if “ab” smells bad (which it does) then we couldn’t count them all. An estimated 347 to the power of the cat equals the square root of the crop from the back 40. We didn’t get any crops from the back 40 because of root-rot, so that made zero. If y = 2 and there is just one clock in the den, this is what we get:”
“y – x (ab * ba) + √ 2(gross cat-litter) – (- rotten turnip) = +1”
“So,” said the boy, “we put the clock forward by one hour.”
“The clocks were supposed to go forward an hour,” said the now fuming teacher, “so why are you two hours late?”
“Oh, I overslept!”
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